Another Hypothetical Scene

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Another Hypothetical Scene


Janeway: With Seven's help I've managed to decrypt the classified data we received from Starfleet.

(Janeway reads through the data: records of the USS Discovery, the Spore Drive, the Mycelial Network)

Janeway: (laughing) oh this is good!  According to this a hundred twenty years ago the USS Discovery tested a "spore drive"!

Chakotay: Spore drive?  Next thing you're gonna tell me they powered it using mushrooms.

Janeway: (laughing) yes, and they used it to travel on a mycelial network!

Paris: (laughing) Mycelial network?  Sounds like a bad holonovel.

Torres: Sounds like whoever wrote it was on mushrooms.

Janeway: And it says that the officer who navigated the ship through the mycelial network modified his DNA with DNA from a giant Tardigrade!

Doctor: Very unlikely.  Ethical and safety issues aside Starfleet and the Federation strictly ban any form of genetic engineering.

Janeway: And there's more.  There's also references to a "Commander Michael Burnham".

Chakotay: Who?

Janeway: According to this, she's the one who started the Federation-Klingon war.  

Tuvok: There is no record of any such individual in the Starfleet database.

Janeway: She mutinied against her captain, got her captain killed, started a war, got court-martialed and sent to prison.  After the war she was pardoned and given her rank back.

Kim: Riiight.  And I can't even get promoted past ensign.

Janeway: It also says she's Spocks adopted sister!

Torres: That's rich!

Doctor: Even "Photons be Free" wasn't this bad.


-Janeway and crew laugh their asses off-

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